


The Warmth of Ice

by Indigo (animatedmanga)



Category: Brave (2012), Frozen (2013)
Genre: #Maybe Elsa/Merida if you're good, #SO MANY DISNEY CHARACTERS, #alternateuniverse, #angst, #fluff, #jelsa brotp, #just read it it's gonna be great guys, #read it!, #sisterly bonding, #triggers, #triggerwarning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-03
Updated: 2014-09-21
Packaged: 2018-01-14 11:31:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 18,520
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1264888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animatedmanga/pseuds/Indigo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[AU] When their parents died, Ana was sent to live with the elusive sister that walked out of her life three years ago. Will her sister’s love save Elsa from herself? This fic features Merida, Rapunzel, Jack Frost, Kristof, and many other disney characters! Elsa, Jack, Rapunzel, Wisps still have/had powers.  Possible OOC.<br/>Edit: Rating's gone up due to graphic descriptions of gore/angst/maturity and swears</p><p>Warning: Trigger warning, sweetie~!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Role Model

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter is a basic get-to-know the setting and introduction of plotline, so it may not flow as seamlessly as the future chapters~!

“So… this is my apartment.” Elsa finished awkwardly, looking back at her little sister. She was only eighteen; she was new at this. Her hands, covered with black fingerless gloves, pulled at her hair anxiously. When their parents had died on a cruise, the last thing she’d wanted was for her little sister to live with her- in harm’s way. And what role model was she? Wearing a black t-shirt with a ragged red snowflake decal along the torso- it had used to look nice, but she’d gone at the neckline and sleeves with scissors, resulting in an over-the-shoulder looseness that she usually wore. Her black skinny jeans were frayed and ripped- she hadn’t found the time to buy nice clothes. She didn’t have the money- she was only able to afford this apartment because when she left home at fifteen she’d learned how to write and published a book on e-reader that gave her enough money to be comfortable- if she was thrifty, cautious, and resourceful.

“It’s colder than I expected.” Ana responded carefully, and Elsa’s eyes widened. She’d carefully thawed out everything she’d accidentally frozen, but she’d forgotten to turn the thermostat up- she hurriedly went to it and turned the heat on. One more bill to pay. Ana had been raised very carefully, a fifteen-year-old girl that had been taught not to make Elsa’s ‘mistakes’- to stay away from her older sister, so she was in no way used to this city or the small size of an apartment. She wore a bright red tank top with a faded ‘Life is Good’ decal in the corner, her hair in two braids and wearing tie-dye colored leggings, her tank top falling halfway down her thighs. She was everything Elsa wasn’t.

“My apologies.” Elsa replied uncomfortably. “The cold doesn’t usually bother me that much.” She hurriedly grabbed at Ana’s suitcase, which was bursting with sloppily packed clothing thrown in. She reached with the other hand for the bumper-sticker covered pink trunk, hauling them both into the bedroom, where Ana’s own twin bed had been moved in opposite Elsa’s. She was getting nervous; she couldn’t do that. Couldn’t let herself.

“Wow, it’s so much bigger than you said it would be!” Ana chirped, opening her suitcase- which seemed to groan in relief- and throwing clothes out of it. “If I can just find a sweatshirt-” She grunted, and Elsa stepped back slightly at the growing pile of clothing. _How did she fit all of this in there…?_ Admittedly, she hadn’t seen Ana since… since Ana was twelve, and she’d grown up- a lot. “That’s okay! I’ll just finish unpacking- can you cook? I can’t cook. Why don’t I ever ask these things? It’s so cold in here! So is it a long walk to my new school or am I getting driven or what?” Elsa’s eyes widened and she fiddled with her hands, trying to think through all of this. She didn’t get out much, as a writer that was focused on finishing another book so that she’d be able to spend more than what she earned from odd jobs.

“I can cook, Ana. Decently.” She responded. Crap. I’ve never cooked in my life, I just eat ramen and salads! “There’s a dresser by your bed. It isn’t big, but it’ll do.” _I found it at a thrift shop. Ana will notice how old it is-- all she’s grown up around is money, power and perfection-- the world I shut myself out of. Why did she end up here?_ She glanced at the clock. It was eleven- should Ana be in bed? She’d cut things a little close with moving, but she hadn’t been ready until today and Ana’s school started the next morning- the last possible night they had to do this, but she just wasn’t ready. Legally, though, she was Ana’s only known relative that could do this. “Go to bed. Please. I’ll put this away.” She finally said, because Ana’s unpacking was sending her stress levels skyrocketing.

“Oh! Are you sure? ‘Cos, I mean, I don’t want to intrude or anything, but, you know- thanks!” Ana let out in a rush, and Elsa nodded, head pounding and heart hammering. Frost gathered on her wrists, creeping up from her palms and she turned away, shutting herself into the bathroom with a muttered ‘just give me a minute’.

It was quieter in the bathroom, where she stared at the parts of her wrist that her gloves covered, staring at her hands and the way that the criss-crossing red lines, some new and some old, were so bold against her pale skin. _Conceal_. She slipped on her gloves. _Don’t feel_. She controlled her face, making it her mask that she could contort at will. _Don’t let it show_. She used a tissue to rub at the frost gathered along the edges of the sink where she’d touched it, throwing the tissue away and calming herself down before she stepped outside the door.

Her sister had managed to fall asleep halfway through changing like a toddler, and she sighed, slipping the deep-sleeper into an oversized t-shirt of hers and setting her down on the bed, throwing a blanket on and chewing her lip nervously. Getting this girl up in the morning? Elsa herself liked to sleep in, being a nocturnal writer, but she set multiple alarms and set to work, gently folding. Everything would be orderly; anything that made her anxious had to go. Normally, she could be messy and take it out on objects, but not now- she couldn’t afford to let Ana see.

It was around two in the morning when she crawled into bed, reading a book by flashlight with a mug of honey tea because she’d been having nightmares that froze her blankets and rooms and she was- careful. She had to be ever so careful. Like always; she remembered leaving, how she’d kept her phone- mistake. Though not one she’d correct.

The truth was that during those years she’d been gone, she’d kept all of Ana’s messages, texts and emails. She’d never responded to any of them, never sent anything back. Eventually, she changed her number, email and contact info, dropped off the map until she’d received a visit from the police. She’d almost destroyed herself that night trying to contain it; desperate for relief in the agitation, desperate enough that physical pain was a release that it never was now, not enough to stop the pure white snowflakes that she always thought of as a curse.

  
  


“Ana? Come on, Ana, wake up!” Elsa groaned, tearing off her sister’s blanket. She hated mornings, her hair a loose mess and not braided yet. Her bright blue eyes closed for a minute. She’d slept through five of her fifteen alarms and she’d finally woken up herself, two and a half hours before school started because Elsa had not idea what Ana’s morning routine was like.

“Mmm. I’m.. up, ‘M up.” Ana reassured sleepily, and Elsa turned around to find herself a pair of clothes. A thump made her whirl back around and Ana was upside-down, half on the bed and most definitely asleep. _Nonono_! Elsa rushed forward, pulling her out of bed. “Mmm? Is it morning? ‘M… awake.” Ana drowsily restated, and Elsa’s lips tightened, shoving Ana in the general direction of the shower. The girl sleepily tripped and stumbled her way into the bathroom, and Elsa winced at the sound of her little sister walking into things and banging around. “Breakfast?” Ana called, the shower turning on. Elsa’s eyes snapped wide. Breakfast!

“Don’t worry!” She called, though more for herself. _Stay calm. What do you have for breakfast?_ Elsa’s mind backfired- when had she last eaten breakfast? Toast. People have toast for breakfast. She had bread- albeit cheap, nonorganic bread, but it was definitely bread. She grabbed at it on the counter and looked back. A trail of newfallen snow lay on the tiles. _Gloves_! She found them and listened to Ana turn off the shower, grabbing at a hairdryer and melting it. Ana was too absentminded in the mornings to notice that Elsa hadn’t showered yet and her hair was dry, right? She put the bread in the toaster and pulled the switch, rummaging in her tiny fridge until she found a bottle of apple juice that would do fine. She rushed to pour it into a cup- she always broke glass- and set it on the small coffee table by the couch that served as a table. In a three-room apartment, one being the bathroom, she hadn’t had much choice other than to make the kitchen into a living room, a family room and a library all at once. “Ana, how long does it take to-” She opened the door to the bathroom with a wince, finding Ana snoring on the floor. “Ana!”

“Oh! Good morning.” Ana replied sleepily, rubbing her eyes and yawning. Her face suddenly brightened, eyes snapping open. “It’s the first day of school!” She hopped up in a towel and raced for the room, where Elsa winced at the sound of clothes being thrown everywhere.

“I’m going to take a shower. Just- just don’t break anything, okay?” Elsa responded hesitantly, slipping into the bathroom. She turned the water temperature to a freezing cold temperature, narrowing her eyes. Ana had borrowed her shampoo and conditioner- and left both all over the place, caps lost (possibly forever). She turned the water off after a long, cold shower and stepped out, her footprints leaving icy snowflakes. _Calm yourself. Control yourself_. She slid into clothes, pulling on socks and gloves.

She wore an oversized light grey off-the-shoulder with a faded black snowflake decal taking up the torso and again, black ripped jeans, carefully applying the array of purple eye makeup she wore in public and lip gloss, reaching up to do her hair. A loud crash sounded from the kitchen and Elsa rushed through the rest of her braid, leaving it messy and bulky, the loops loosely bound together by a red ribbon. She only drove once or twice a week; Arendelle was big enough that in order to do ‘grocery shopping’ she had to drive to a store. Ana looked up from where she’d spread blueberry jam all over the coffee table, enthusiastically devouring it. “So where do you go to school?” Ana asked through a mouthful of toast. Elsa winced, reaching up to try and fix her bangs but in the end just tucking them back into the braid.

“I don’t go to school.” Elsa responded. She checked the time anxiously, fighting against her own panic and glancing around. “Get your backpack packed.” She told her little sister coolly, rolling her shoulders and glancing into the parking lot, where her faithful, beaten-up white car sat. She looked back. Ana wore bright, frilly clothes, bubbly and excited as she got ready- disorganized. Elsa glanced at the half-eaten toast. _What am I going to do? I don’t even know what she likes- obviously not toast._ She clattered down the stairs of the apartment building, tugging on loose sneakers.

 

She dropped Ana off at the school in silence, sitting in the car for a minute and rubbing her hands over her head. Snowflakes cluttered the edges of her vision, her wheel brittle ice in her hands and she flinched, turning the heat up to melt it and turning on the radio for the drive home. All she’d done was ask directions from a stranger and that much social interaction threatened to drag her down; she parked by her apartment and ran up the stairs, hurrying to her laptop. She hadn’t written enough the previous day; she grabbed a glass of ice-water and sat down, staring at the screen she opened up.

She drummed her fingers on the table.

She paced the living room.

She typed a sentence, deleted it, and pinched the bridge of her nose.

 _This can’t be happening. I can’t be doing this. Why can’t I write?_ She gasped and let go of her laptop when it began to freeze over, stumbling backwards as frost curled around the edges of the table. _Calm down. I can do this, right? I’ll figure out what to write, publish, and I’ll get some money to pay for what we need_. It wasn’t working; she knew it was a lie. She sunk to the ground, terrified. _Oh my God, what am I going to do? How am I going to feed her, keep the apartment warm, get published?_ She curled her hands into fists and took a breath, the room cold and the walls frosted lightly. She rose, letting out a breath and and staring out the window by the couch, arms folded over her chest with a sinking feeling in her heart.

Elsa looked down at her hands, blinking slowly. The thin lines, the papery skin- was this what caused her so much pain? She drew off the gloves, curling them and uncurling them likes wings unfurling. These two hands had brought so much destruction, so much fear and so much pain- but they’d created, too. They’d written and drawn, but now she didn’t even have that to her credit.

She’d once wondered, as a kid, if cutting her hands off would make the powers stop. Maybe then she could open the door, maybe then her parents wouldn’t yell and her sister wouldn’t be such a stranger to her. But that was something that would never happen, so she was left wondering if by breaking herself she could break the ice. 


	2. Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsa has her first fight with Ana.

Chapter Two: Help

 

“Ana, what are you doing?” Elsa asked, chewing her lip while stirring the ramen and setting it into two bowls. Her favorite meal-- ruined by the fact that Ana probably had expensive, well cooked dinner meals at a table with china. She had plastic bowls that didn’t match. “You should be doing homework.”

“Oh, me? Nah. I’ll get it done!” Ana chirped, doodling all over the coffee table. “Relax. I’ll be fine! It’s only ten.” She drew a spaceship and Elsa grimaced. How did she get her little sister moving? She’d never done her homework at that age. She’d never done anything at that age. _Doesn’t she understand how lucky she is? Why is she doing this?_ Her hands tightened around the bowl and she tapped her foot impatiently while pouring the ramen. Her foot slipped on the growing patch of ice and with a startled gasp Elsa poured a bit of hot ramen on the ice to melt it, setting it down and gripping the counter. Frost tingled along the edge and she swallowed. _No, no wait- stop it, Elsa, stop it. Control it. Conceal it._ She grit her teeth against her own emotions, taking a deep breath. Ana looked up. “What’s got you so upset? Is it me? I can go away, I swear. I left my book in my room.” Ana moved to get up and Elsa herded her back with a single icy glare.

“Ana.” She said quietly, firmly, the ice creeping somehow into her voice, into the way she spoke. Had she always been this cold to her little sister? This was better. If she could just trap her emotions like this- stick them back inside her, where they wouldn’t hurt Ana- then maybe it was okay to be like this. Cold. Emotionless. “Go do your homework.” Her voice was steady; solid, cold. _It’s easy. Just put it away. Conceal it. Control it. Don’t let her in._

“Elsa, honestly, I’m fine. I’m having fun! Don’t ruin this just ‘cos you never do anything fun. You just sit inside and pace.” Ana responded absentmindedly, and Elsa’s eyes narrowed as she cleaned up the floor. “Did you spill? Do you need help? I’m great at cleaning up spills. I mean, not like I mess up a lot, but I mean I’m good at-”

“Homework!” Elsa snapped, her voice as sharp as a whip. Ana flinched, scowling.

“Why do you have to be so strict, Elsa? You never do anything but snap.” She groaned, completely ignoring Elsa’s attempt. Elsa’s lips tightened. “You just lock yourself in here all the time.” Ana’s hands were waving to make her point, a habit that was both annoying and angering to her older sister.

“What I do is none of your business!” Elsa replied angrily. “While you live in this apartment, you do your fucking homework.” It was too late to take back the swear; Ana’s eyes widened. She wasn’t used to swears, obviously. Why did you say that, Elsa? She’s going to hate you.

“I just got here and you’re already swearing at me?” Was Ana’s snarled response, and Elsa took in a sharp breath, standing abruptly.

“You are here because I am letting you stay here.” She shot back. “Do you think I asked for this?” The words bit in the air but she was frozen, her heart and her voice encased in ice. _Don’t feel. Don’t feel. Don’t feel. Conceal it!_

“Yeah, I know!” Ana yelled abruptly, standing. Elsa took a breath, because she was coming apart at the seams with Ana’s words. “You don’t want anyone around! I’m always tiptoeing around you because you don’t care!” She sighed dramatically. “Fine, whatever. Have it your way, because Elsa’s always right.”

“Stop it, Ana.” Elsa responded angrily. “What, you think I’m supposed to be your best friend, your buddy? Well, looks like you guessed wrong, kid, because I’m not your friend.” She snapped, eyes narrowed in fury.

“No, you’re not.” Ana furiously shot back at her. “You’re not even acting like my sister right now!”

“You don’t know anything!” Elsa countered, a cold declaration. “You’re a spoiled brat. Well, I’m sick of it! I don’t need that.” She snarled, turned heel and stepping through the door to the bedroom, turning into the bathroom because she was losing control.

Her hands moved without her knowledge until she felt the sharp prick and looked down, panicky, at the crimson wetness , her gloves cast aside on the counter and blood freezing on her hands. _Nonono!_ She reached for the sink with her other hand, flipping on the water and running her forearm through the warm tap, listening to the sounds of Ana tip-tapping at her laptop. _I wish I’d never opened my mouth._ The sharp pain, though, had cleared her head; she closed her eyes, because she tried to stop- tried to stop every day, but it kept happening, kept reaching to swallow her up again.

She took a breath, rummaging in the cabinets for a band-aid box. She didn’t find one, finally sighing and wrapping a gauze pad around and securing it with medical tape. She added band-aids to the list of things she’d need to buy when she went shopping next, wincing at the added cost.

 

As if just to justify herself she went into her room, pulling out her own computer and staring at it for a few minutes, biting her nails for a minute, the fingertips exposed by her gloves. _What am I going to write?_ She scrolled up, scanning everything she’d written so far. Sequels should write themselves, shouldn’t they? So why was it that she couldn’t write a thing- they’d end up on the streets if it wasn’t for the payments she received from her online book and the odd jobs she sometimes did during the day- pet sitting, the occasional art commission. She stared at the white screen for what seemed like days but might have been only an hour, panic rising. Maybe I should try something else, first.

She shut her computer and sat up, rummaging for the fire-proof safe that had cost her a month’s worth of art commissions, drawing out the forms that she needed to fill out and staring at them, the words blurring together. Her pencil tapped worriedly against the paper, hands raising to grab at the messy braid, fingers entangling themselves in the white. She grabbed a piece of paper out of a notebook by her bed and set it on top of the thick packet for a hard surface, cross-legged on the floor and sketching out the prices of everything she’d need to keep her and Ana living comfortably. _I can’t do this. How am I supposed to do this? I can’t take a job, it’s not safe. I can’t go back to school- I can’t do anything._ She took a shuddering breath, snowflakes under her hands. She felt cramped and hot; without thinking, she slid off her gloves and set them aside like she usually did during the day. _I’m stuck, just like our parents always told me I would be._ Tears pricked at the corners of her vision and she struggled to keep it together.

“Elsa?” Ana’s voice was tentative, nervous- scared? _I’ve scared her. Dammit, why am I so dangerous? Am I doomed to silence?_ She realized with a start that her gloves weren’t on- she reached for them just as Ana entered, and then turned to look at her. “I was going to ask if you needed me to make dinner.” She told her, and Elsa’s eyes widened. Dinner. Right- she didn’t have anything in the house, other than ramen and a few cans of peaches. She didn’t usually eat a lot; Ana ate all the time, and she’d watched her food supplies dwindle with her little sister’s snacking. _How am I going to afford-_ Ana’s eyes widened. “Elsa? I’m not- I’m not mad at you, I didn’t mean to snap at you.” She ventured, and Elsa’s eyes widened in her own surprise. Her sister was sorry? She’d sworn. Oh my god, she’d sworn at her sister-

“I’m sorry.” Elsa responded, her voice carefully measured. She held her breath, Ana peering behind her at the paper. Elsa grit her teeth. “Is there something you want?” She asked, her voice barely coming through in its normal tones. Beneath the surface, she was a wreck. _I can’t raise her! Look at her, she’s fifteen- she can’t even remember to tie her own shoes._

“What’re you doing?” Ana asked, and the way she spoke as if she was terrified of her sister- Elsa remembered the time that she’d accidentally given Ana hypothermia, when Ana was only seven. “Oh, finances? We’ll be fine. By the way, I found a box of cereal. It wasn’t my favorite, but that’s okay, we can get something else next time. Oh! We’re out of peaches. And can I turn the thermostat up?” Elsa grit her teeth. “Woah, woah, what’s with that face?”

“If we spend this much, we will not be fine.” Elsa snapped. “Do you ever stop talking?” Her head pounded and she felt sick to her stomach, fists clenching. Her sister said her name and she shot up, hand automatically reaching for the chair-backing to steady herself. It immediately froze along with the pencil in her other hand, a sheet of ice shooting across the floor. She gasped and Ana slipped, falling backwards with a yelp. At the sight of Ana’s expression Elsa was terrified, stepping back and grabbing at her gloves, slipping them on. She took a breath. _Conceal, don’t feel._ She grit her teeth, tears welling up again in her eyes. _Don’t let it show!_ “Ana?”

“I’m okay!” Her sister chirped, mildly in shock. She pulled herself up, the ice melting beneath them. Oh, my, was Elsa glad- not for the first time- that there was nobody living beneath her. “What’s with the- the ice show?” And Elsa looked down at the offending hands, hidden by the well-worn leather. She took in a soft breath, blinking slowly.

“I… I don’t know, Ana. It’s always been this way.” She responded softly, feeling the weight lift only slightly off of her chest. It still choked her; still forced her to her knees at times. But now that Ana knew, maybe it’d be easier. She watched her sister struggle to stay up on the melting ice and bit her lip. _No. I’m a fool. It’ll never get better._


	3. Life's Too Short

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out what the sisters think about each other's absences- and in a brutal way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING, sweeties, sorry~!

“Ana, what are you doing? We’re late.” Elsa called, her hair more firmly braided and pinned up in a bun-type spiral, makeup applied and emotions withheld. But her little sister was still in the bathroom, getting ready; she tightened her lips, turning to the kitchen and hurrying in to pour ramen into a bowl. _Okay. We need cereal. We really, really need cereal. And fruit._

“Ellllllsa.” Her sister groaned. “Stop it. You’re doing it again.” Ana opened the door and slipped into the hallway, yawning and stretching. Elsa narrowed her eyes.

“Ana, you’re going to be late again.” She responded harshly. “You can’t miss first period.”

“What’s the big deal?” Ana responded, and her sister bit the inside of her cheek. “It’s just school.”

“Do you understand what I would do to finish school, Ana?” Elsa responded quietly. Ana sighed.

“You can still go to school, Elsa.” She responded, and Elsa’s hands clenched. She shivered, just remembering; the day she’d been found in the girl’s bathroom, in tears, and the days there’d been full-on snow days for a straight week before people asked questions about the weird weather. Nights of trying to get assignments done and worrying about whether or not she’d kill her classmates the next day. No; she could never go back. “Don’t be like this, come on. You could at least try.”

“I don’t need to impress you.” Elsa replied coldly, and Ana rolled her eyes dramatically, her rebellious, quirky nature getting on Elsa’s nerves. She remembered when they were kids; oh, Ana wouldn’t remember when they were young enough to play with snow, but when she was in middle school they’d hang out together as sisters, Elsa still a bright, playful and laughing figure, filled with dark intelligence. Now, another eighteen-year-old girl who’d never finished high school.

“Where’s my backpack?” Ana chattered, brushing past her to start tearing apart Elsa’s careful organization. _How does she even lose something like a backpack?_ Ana sat down in a chair and promptly tried to fall back asleep for the umpteenth time that morning, Elsa silently throwing a small snowball at her face to wake her up. “Brr! That’s cold! Don’t do that, Elsa!”

Elsa flinched. Ana had liked playing with Elsa’s icy powers as a child, and it hurt that she didn't like them anymore. She stiffened. “It’s my apartment. This is who I am, Ana.”

“Well, why couldn't you just have warm _tropical_ hands or something?” Ana grumbled, finding her backpack under the couch- _How did it get back there?_ \- and shouldering it. “Okay. I’m ready. Wow, are you always this angry in the morning?”

“No.” Elsa responded coolly. “You’re making me this angry. Where’s your binder? Your coat?” Elsa responded, not realizing until too late that she was flinging snowflakes with each dramatic gesture.

“Would you just- put on your gloves?” Ana requested, frustrated and throwing the gloves at Elsa’s face clumsily. They hit her and fell to the floor, Elsa’s mouth flattening into a thin line.

“Not in my apartment, Ana. I’m not going to hide away for you!” She countered, words layered with venom. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m really just not in the mood to deal with this.” Ana shot back, and she changed the subject, chattering endlessly- but Elsa didn’t hear her, running over the words, the gloves at her feet. “Can you please just act like a sister, Elsa? For once?”

“Oh, like you always do?” Elsa retorted, voice thin and angry. “You’re not even upset that your parents died, are you? Nothing’s ever wrong in Ana’s perfect world.”

“ _Our_ parents, Elsa, _our_ parents!” Ana snapped, voice raising to a yell. “And you barely even knew them! You were too busy screaming at them!”

“They wanted me to be someone I’m not!” She yelled back. “Just like you, you’re always just like they were!” Her eyes narrowed. _I loved them more than this ignorant brat could ever hope to understand._

“Oh, so are you going to start yelling at me like you did to them? Are you going to leave me without saying anything, just like you did to them?” Ana yelled back. “Too late! You already have! But will you do it again, just because you’re too immature to face this?”

“Don’t talk to me about immature!” Elsa yelled, ice spreading across the floor. She couldn't slip the gloves on, couldn't yield, but snow had begun to fall inside the room and her hands crackled with ice. _Conceal it!_ “I’m the one who has to drive you!”

“You don’t have to today!” Ana sent the words flying at Elsa like a bullet to the heart. “I’ll take the bus! You’ll be gone by tonight, anyways! You always leave.”

“Maybe I just might!” Elsa threatened furiously, and Ana turned her back and left, running down the stairs and slamming the door shut behind her. Elsa crumpled to her knees, eyes wide. What had she just said? What had she done? _I’ve shut out the only one who’s ever reached out to me. Ana, please be safe-_ But by the time Elsa had dried the apartment with a wince at the cost of energy and fuel, it was too late to find Ana- she’d be at school, having taken a city bus or a taxi, alone and naive.

 

\--

 

“...Why can’t we color it pink? I do not see the reason for everything to be in black and white.” Ana argued with Kristof, her science partner. His dog lay quietly next to him, an animal named Sven that technically had the tags for a therapy dog but didn’t seem to do any work in particular. The teachers were all perfectly used to it. Ana’s phone rang from inside her backpack and her eyes widened, surprised. Who would call her? She was glad that she was in the hallway, glancing at Kristof as she ‘sneakily’ drew out her phone, peering at the number with widening eyes.

“Who is it?” He asked. “You can’t just-” She hushed him and accepted the call, lifting it to her ear.

“Ana?” Her sisters voice was rasping, quiet; she sounded in pain. Ana’s heart leapt in her throat. She mouthed ‘sister’ to Kristof, who didn’t respond, doodling a reindeer on their paper in infuriatingly black ink. “Ana?” Her sister said, again, and there it was- that pain, that rasp. She turned to Kristof, putting a hand over the receiver for a minute.

“I think she’s hurt.” She whispered, and Kristof’s eyes widened.

“Tell her to stay on the phone.”

“Are you an expert?”

“I have friends who are.” He snapped, and she hurried away into the girls’ bathroom, sitting down in the biggest stall to listen. Her sister said her name again- was she crying? Oh, my god, she was crying.

 

“Elsa, what do you want?” The voice crackled through the phone and Elsa stared out at the apartment. It was covered in snow and ice, including her, curled up in a corner with a razor blade in one, brittle and curled with frost. “Are you, like, okay? Do you need help? Why are you calling me?”

“Ana, I’m sorry.” She whispered, eyes blurring. She cradled the phone, praying it wouldn’t break. “I don’t know how to do this.” She admitted, her voice quiet.

“Stay on the phone.” Ana said, and Elsa nodded to herself. She could do that. She liked having a voice there, calling out as she slipped away.

“I don’t know how to do this, Ana.” She was saying, and her voice cracked. “I can’t.”

 

Ana’s heart pounded. Was Elsa- was she going to hurt herself? She backtracked in her head, to all the times when Elsa had vanished, had turned away, had hidden herself. I’m an oblivious fool. “Elsa, stay on the phone. Please, I’m your sister, I can help, just tell me what’s wrong.” She glanced out the window. It was snowing. Is that her?

 

Elsa leaned back against the wall. “Call me your sister again.” She whispered, because she liked the way the words sounded. She let the blade graze her skin, just one more mark, one more hiss of light pain that her sister wouldn’t be able to hear.

“Elsa, we can fix this. Is it about mom and dad? Because they loved you, they did, they were always whispering about you and trying to find you-” Ana’s voice crackled through the receiver. The words were daggers she couldn’t bear, choking her and cutting off the oxygen that she so dearly craved. “I never stopped thinking about you-”

“Ana, please, you’ll only make it worse!” Elsa responded, tears streaming from those blue eyes that looked so much like her sister’s in the ice reflections that she felt like throwing up. There’s no escape! She gasped for a breath. They were always trying to find you… Ana would end up like them. Always wondering where I was, what I’m doing, what’s wrong with me. It’ll be easier for her when I’m gone...

“Elsa, are you okay? Are you hurt?” She asked and was asking other things, but Elsa was tuning her out. The pressure was building in her chest; she hung up the phone and stared at her hands, trying to get herself under control, trying desperately to keep herself calm.

Her blade was too brittle and shattered, and she took a shuddering breath. She formed icy blades that snaked around her arms, relaxing into the familiar pangs, the pain and the sensation and the bite of the cold.

The cold never bothered me…. but it will kill me. How fitting…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just hang in there, dear readers! More will be posted shortly, I'm going to be updated every week, hopefully, so stay tuned-- sorry about the cliffhanger!
> 
> P.S. Anything at all I can do to improve my work, please let me know!


	4. Wake

Ana left the bathroom to find Kristof leaning against the wall of the hallway, arms crossed. “Ana, is your sister okay?” He asked, and she bit her lip.

“She hung up on me.” Ana admitted, and his eyes widened. “I told her to stay on the phone, just like you said, but she was acting really weird, you know? She kept saying my name and apologizing or whatever, because we had a fight this morning and she got all upset and-”

“Ana.” He interrupted her, and she stopped abruptly. “It sounds like we need to get you back to your sister. I don’t know what’s going on and I really don’t care, but you’ve got Sven all upset.” The dog didn’t look very upset, sitting and regarding Ana with a tilted head. “-Anyways, I have some friends who can help, okay? I mean, Merida’s pretty used to cutting class and Rapunzel’s all touchy-feely.”

“But… I have school, Kristof. Class ends in ten minutes, we have to go back into the room.” She argued, and he shook his head.

“Rapunzel and Merida have fourth period study-hall together.” He told her. “In Mr. Valdemarr’s room.” He turned to go back into the classroom. “Do whatever you want with that.”

 

“Rapunzel and Merida, you’ve got someone who wants to talk to you about a history project..? You can go talk in the hall.” Mr.Valdemarr told them with a bored expression. Ana played with her hair nervously, watching the girls exchange confused looks before going out into the hall with her.

“Um, Kristof told me to, um, find you?” She mumbled hopefully, glancing at them. They seemed surprised; she could tell that the one with red hair was an underclassman, like her, whereas the other seemed to be a senior.

“You’re a sophomore, right? In Merida’s grade. I’m Rapunzel… why did Kristof send you?” She asked kindly, her dark hair in a neat, cropped short cut. “Did he get in some kind of trouble?”

“My name’s Ana. Actually, I… I need to cut class.” She explained. “And so he said you guys would take me somewhere.” She offered a nervous smile, and the two girls stared at her, Merida’s mouth twisted into a strange, crooked frown.

“Wait, you’re going to cut class? Aren't you young for that? I can give you directions, I’ve explored every inch of this city, but I don’t think I can take you.” Rapunzel replied hesitantly.

“It’s my sister. She’s at home, I mean, and she sounded really stressed out when she called and then she hung up on me, and it’s just that we had this really big fight so I just feel like I need to get back to her, right?” Ana chattered in response, and their expressions changed. “She just seemed really upset, so I need to get back to her and I can’t drive or anything-”

“I can get you out of school.” Merida interrupted. “Ray, we’ve got lunch after this, so might as well.” She smiled. “Let’s go find your sister, Ana.” She rolled her shoulders.

“She sounds like she must’ve been pretty upset. Don’t do this every day, okay? But that sounds like a good reason.” Rapunzel shrugged. “Meet us in the parking lot.” She leaned over to Merida, whispering, and Ana caught pieces- if Kristof trusted her, she was probably okay. Ana resisted the urge to say anything- after all, she was asking two strangers to have blind faith in her and risk missing classes. 

 

-

 

“This is the one.” Rapunzel said finally, parking in the lot by the apartment. Ana hadn’t even told her what the exact address was, just the street, but… It was snowing everywhere, but this house had icicles, and the door was jammed shut with it. It looked like a snowy battleground, and this building was the epicenter. Ana turned, suddenly remembering; she couldn’t let them find out about Elsa’s powers.

“No. Wait. You can go now, it’s fine, I just need to talk to her alone, okay? You should definitely go back to school.” Ana began, but Merida was shaking her head.

“It’s fine, Ana, just calm down.” She told her, peering at the lock. She went back and got a hammer from the car- who knew why she had one- and hammered at it, the ice shattering. Ana took out her key and nervously turned it in the lock, the dor creaking with ice and snow. “It’s snowing...inside.” Merida realized, exchanging another glance with Rapunzel. Ana pushed in front of them, mumbling some very bad excuse.

 

The apartment was covered in ice and snow, each step making the floorboards creak. It was dark, and when Ana turned on the lights, all she saw for a moment was the blinding white of snow. “Elsa?” Her heart pounded. Something must be terribly wrong, to create this kind of snowstorm- something awful. She stepped carefully, shivering, wind everywhere inside like a blizzard, an earthquake’s epicenter. She turned her head to peer into the living room-kitchen and her heart stopped.

All she saw was red. Red, _everywhere_ , and in the middle of the red was the slumped figure of- of her older sister, bone-thin and arms covered in _so much red_. But the image was distorted; she peered closer, only to find that there were walls of clear ice around the figure. The phone lay next to Elsa’s form and it was this that set her off. “Elsa!” The scream was ripped from her throat by the wind, loud enough to wake the dead. “Elsa! Oh my god, oh my god-” She whimpered, or screamed- she didn’t know how loud she was, but the words were tumbling from her mouth, a fist pounding against the wall of ice and only succeeding in a crack. Merida and Rapunzel came running, Rapunzel letting out a shriek and Merida a startled gasp.

Merida raised her hammer and Rapunzel dove to get Ana out of the way as it came crashing into the wall, ice splintering. With two more impacts the wall broke enough to be destroyed with ease, Ana bursting forward to grab at her sister. Merida was calling someone and Rapunzel was saying something but Ana was just drawing Elsa closer to her, in her lap, surrounded by a swirling, raging storm. She was being pulled away by Merida’s surprisingly strong grasp, held back. “Gods, Ana, stop struggling.” The girl gasped, but Ana fought it, fought to get to Elsa.

 

-

 

“ _Mise ri d' thaobh, O mhaighdean bhàn…_ ” The words were being sung quietly, and Ana slowly opened her eyes, disoriented. She was in a bed that was soft and warm, but she wasn’t sure where… the room was small and without wallpaper on the wood, and she was in a queen-sized bed. The woman singing stopped, a tall woman with tied black hair and a few gray streaks. She had been sitting patiently in a chair near the bed. “Good. You’re awake.” She rose. “I’ll have Maudie bring you two something to eat.” She turned and left the room before Ana could ask any questions.

She sat up, looking down. She wore a long tan nightgown, not what she’d been wearing before- the events of the previous day suddenly rushed back to her fast enough to choke her. She bit her lip, sorting through them, her thoughts crazy-- and was startling by a rustle next to her. Elsa? Her older sister slept on the other side of the big bed, dressed in a white nightgown with one arm over the sheets. Gauze and bandages were wrapped firmly around her sister’s arm. Ana glanced quickly at the window- the snow was gone, and Elsa’s hands were covered by skintight white gloves. “Elsa?” She murmured, and there was another rustle as her sister tried to sit up but fell back down, dizzy. “Oh my god, Elsa are you okay why did you do that are you going to do it again are you hungry do you know where we are are you feeling okay-”

“Ana.” Her voice was faint, those bright blue eyes finding her little sister and focusing on her, then glancing down at the gloves and the gauze and the bandages. “No no no no no- it’s not safe, Ana, you need to leave. Please.” She was terrified, terrified of hurting her little sister- who was supposed to be getting over her, moving on with her life but instead stuck here. Her sister shook her head and Elsa sighed through her teeth, a soft hiss. “Tell me what happened.”

“Well, Kristof told me that I should go home to you after you called, so I met Rapunzel and Merida and they took me home and Elsa, you tried to- to... the whole apartment is covered in snow and ice.” She bit her lip. “Rapunzel and Merida know about- about the powers, I think, but I don’t know how they-” Elsa’s eyes were wide.

“You cut class because of me?” Elsa closed her eyes. “You were supposed to have a better life, not.. not end up like this. I never wanted any of this to happen.”

“Don’t tell Mum, Maudie!” Came a yell, and then Merida was bursting in, the door hitting the other wall, with a grin. “You’re awake! Sorry about the clothes, they’re mine, but yours were filthy. Oh, we found gloves on the table of your apartment, but they were filthy, too. We figured that was helpful, like Jack’s stick.”

“...I’m sorry?” Elsa’s voice was soft. “Where are we?” She moved to lean against the headboard, weakened and confused. “Who are you?”

“I’m Merida, and that was my mum.” Merida explained patiently. “How are you feeling, then?” Her scottish accented words hung in the room for a second before Ana straightened.

“So this is your house? It’s cool! Thanks for- everything, Merida, honestly. Where’s Rapunzel?” Ana asked, and Merida gestured in the general direction of where she’d come from. “Oh! Are you hungry? What you need, Elsa, is some meat! You name is Elsa, right? It’s what your sister called you.”

“Yes. My name is Elsa.” She confirmed, staring down at her hands. She touched her hair, which hung unbraided, not meeting anyone’s eyes. Ana peered at her, and then looked at Merida.

“She looks faint. I mean… we should probably head back to the apartment.” She quickly stated, starting to come to grips with what was going on.

“We already know that you have ice powers.” Merida replied. “That’s okay, though. Welcome to the club. I mean, Jack’s just like Elsa, but he has to use a stick and he controls it. Oh, and Ray used to have magical hair, but then it was cut off, and-”

“It’s not safe.” Elsa rasped. “You all need to go.” Her face was frightened, badly. Ana and Merida exchanged glances. “Please, I don’t want to hurt you.” She finally whispered, disregarding Merida's words entirely. 

“You’re staying here.” Rapunzel said, coming into the room. “Just for tonight, Elsa.” She ran a hand over her dark pixie cut, and seemed to expect more than the way her hand abruptly dropped off, as if she wasn’t used to it. “We should eat soon.”

“Oh! Thank you so much, guys, is there, um, clothes we can borrow? Oh! We should call the landlord, Elsa- have you called the landlord? Oh, no you’ve been asleep, I’m so stupid.” Merida giggled behind her hand at the chatter and Ana blushed, playing with her loose hair.

“Oh! Yes, I mean, you’re in my room, so you can just- look through the drawers.” The wild redhead gestured to the chest of drawers and blinked. “So um- see you in the dining room for supper, then-” She whirled out, always in a rush.

“Merida is a firm believer in food.” Rapunzel commented wryly. “You two slept the day away. Elsa probably shouldn’t move too much, but life is short, right? Just take it easy.” She turned and headed out after Merida, closing the door on the way. There was silence as Elsa and Ana looked at each other.

-

 

“Are you feeling okay?” Ana asked, pulling her knees up into her chest and hugging them to her. “Are you cold, it’s the middle of December and it’s so chilly in here-” She stopped. “Oh, right.”

“That’s me, sorry.” Elsa responded softly. “I’m not cold.” She slid the sheets aside and eased herself onto her feet, blinking in the light from the window. When she moved Ana winced, eyes drawn to the carefully wound bandages on her sister’s arms. Elsa peered into the drawers until she found a pair of sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, Ana turning away to let her change.

“Umm, is there anything that would fit me?” She asked nervously, and Elsa turned slightly, laying a set on the bed. “Are we going back to the apartment? Do you need me to move out, I mean, I bet I can find a place to-”

“It’s okay, Ana.” Elsa whispered, She closed her eyes and let a long breath. “Please just calm down.” She flexed the white gloves and then found a pair of scissors, slicing off the tips. Her gloves ended just after the wrist; she wasn’t used to them, moving her fingers. “Kai- my landlord- he’s sweet. That apartment was on its last legs, held together with ice. He won’t charge me for what happened, the water damage. I’ll find a new one, one that won’t be destroyed.” She turned away while Ana changed into clothes she’d found, hands curled into fists.

“Let’s go downstairs.” Ana replied hesitantly. “We can deal with all that stuff later. I’m so hungry, and- do you smell that, Elsa?” She sounded so cheerful that Elsa almost smiled, but then she caught the scent.

“Supper. Let’s go.” Elsa responded with a note of mirth hidden in her soft, fading voice.

-

 

“Merida, we do not put weapons on the table!” Her mum was saying, and Elsa watched in wonder. She’d missed meals all the time when she’d been in her house; meals and dinner had been quiet affairs, and Elsa had stayed long enough to eat before vanishing to her room and closing the door on her home and family, awaiting the inevitable fight that would ensue later that night. But this- Merida’s mum seemed enraptured with the very idea of parenting, a strong-willed woman. “Harris! No more dumplings for you, honestly-” The triplets, Merida’s brothers, were seated next to their father in a little row.

“Psst. Hamish.” Rapunzel whispered from next to her, tossing something under the table that Elsa assumed was some kind of sweet. She struggled to hide a note of laughter that Ana let loose for her, looking in surprise at her redheaded sister, who was exchanging dirty jokes with Merida and her father, much to the mother’s exasperation.

“Any progress on your book, Elinor?” Rapunzel asked, and Elsa lifted her head to stare at Merida’s mother. She’s an author, too? Elsa didn’t have a chance to ask for details because Fergus let out a loud, rude burp that sent Merida, her brothers and Rapunzel into fits of laughter, spurring him on.

“Fergus!” Elinor snapped

“Sorry, dear.” Her husband muttered, silencing himself. Merida, too, let her peal of laughter die in her throat.

“Sorry, Elsa, Ana, what you must think of us.” Elinor sighed, shaking her head. “Have some more vegetables, Merida, that’s not a very well balanced meal.”

“Oh, no, don’t worry, Mrs. DunBroch! I- thank you for having us, I mean, until Elsa can find a new apartment and we get back on our feet! It’s awfully kind of you, truly, and this dinner is amazing and-”

“Yes, thank you.” Elsa echoed politely, cutting off her sister’s chatter and looking back down at her meal, which was untouched. Out of courtesy she lifted her silverware and began to cut the meat into small pieces- she’d at least eat some of this, because it was so nice of the family to share this meal with them. They’d set out a plate of red meat and very particular foods for her; perhaps it would do away with the lightheaded dizziness that clung to her.

“You can stay with us until you’ve healed.” Merida added. “I don’t mind sleeping in the guest room if you want to stay in my room again tonight.” She offered a crooked grin and Elsa flushed at the idea that they’d stayed in someone else’s bed.

“Oh, no, that’s not necessary.” Elsa cut in immediately. She wanted to tell them it was fine, they didn’t need to stay here, but she didn’t want her sister in a shelter or their water-damaged apartment. The reality had hit her hard- not only was she putting Ana in danger, she was living in a house with other people again, where she couldn’t use her powers for even an instant. And she needed to get the second book finished soon- she self-edited and that stage always took as long as the writing did, and she needed to get it out and published to be able to collect earnings from it. But… she couldn’t take this happiness from Ana. It was just a week or two until Christmas; she’d always enjoyed the sales, but she hadn’t been shopping for gifts in a long time, living so completely isolated. _Maybe this year it’ll be different. Oh, Ana, I’m dragging you down and you’re dragging me up. What are we going to do?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, something's come up that I need to do for school, so I'll need another week before the update- but it's coming, this isn't abandoned! The next chapter will be set a week or two later, at Christmas-time, so I do hope you'll like it! Any suggestions? Let me know through my tumblr, animatedmanga.tumblr.com, or through here, I'd love to hear them~!


	5. In Which Ana is Clumsy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsa and Ana move into a new apartment- and one that won't take water damage...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies if the new character is a bit OOC, as I haven't watched her movie yet~!
> 
> \--Also, this is a fairly short chapter, talk to you more at the end! Thank you so much for all of the interest, I never expected it to be read by so many!

 

“Here we are.” Rapunzel turned into the small driveway. There was a building ahead of them, a small restaurant with a faded sign over the door that was impossible to read. “It looks weird, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. Your apartment’s supposed to be in the basement.” She glanced back at Ana and Elsa’s nervous expressions. “It’s a nice restaurant, and in the basement, Elsa, you can do the snow thing without damaging the room.”

“Do the snow thing?” Merida giggled, shaking her head. “Oh my _God_ , Ray, that sounds dorky. C’mon, guys, let’s go.” She hopped out of the car, moving around to the trunk and popping it open. Ana scrambled out of the car, grabbing Elsa’s hand and pulling the surprised girl across the seats. Her hand closed around a tender part of Elsa’s arm and she let out a slight hiss.

“Oh my goodness, I’m sorry! Are you okay? I mean, c’mon, c’mon this is going to be fun-!” Ana exploded out of Ray’s car and went to the trunk, grabbing out the bright pink trunk and hauling it out to bump against the road. _So that’s why it’s so beat up_. “Oh, Gosh, d’ya think the restaurant owner will let us eat up there? Wouldn’t that be the coolest, Elsa?”

“Thanks for coming, Flynn!” Rapunzel squealed, getting out of the car. Her presumed boyfriend, a tall senior stepping out of a white car behind them, nodded to her and laughed as she jumped up onto him. Elsa watched in wonder and glanced at her sister, whose expression was one of longing. “Oh, could you just grab that- and that, and that, that’d be great.” He sighed and pushed aside his hair, peering at the bags and various items he’d been pointed to.

“Umm...no.” He retorted. “No way.” He strode over and grabbed Ana’s other bag, picking up the box they’d packed most of what could be salvaged in- laundry bags, coat hangers, silverware, pots and pans. She had only small-sized cooking and eating utensils, anyways, so she’d packed them all in one bag.

“Is this the owner, here?” Elsa asked politely, hefting her own bag and throwing a backpack over her shoulder. Her laptop, miraculously, was still working, and she was still stuck in a terrible writer’s block.

“He should be.” Rapunzel responded. “Listen, once Flynn drops off your things, we’ve got to head out. I can totally cover for Ana at school.” She slid a car out of her back pocket. “I really think you should consider some of these numbers. They’re people just like you. Also, my number, Merida’s, Jack’s, Kristof’s- everyone’s, okay?” She pressed it to Elsa’s hand and went back to the car, putting her feet up on the dashboard.

Elsa barely had time to recover before Merida hit her like a wall and she went down amidst the bright red curls. “Oops! Sorry! I forgot you’re still weak on your feet. Okay.” She hopped up and tugged Elsa up afterwards. “Okay, I do have to go.” She glanced to the side- Elsa, following her gaze, noted Flynn coming back up from the restaurant. “But just never, ever do anything like that again, alright? Never. You’ll be just fine.”

“Thank you.” Elsa replied, amused and a bit startled. She’d been self-destructive for so long she’d forgotten people’s reactions to it. But she’d never.. gone this far. Absentmindedly she ran fingers over one bandaged arm, then raised it to wave as the car took off. She bit her lip and then took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she turned towards the restaurant. A dark-haired girl waved from the window and Elsa glanced around for her sister, spotting her taking a picture with her phone a few feet away. “Ana, are you ready?” She asked hesitantly.

“Oh! Yes of course, I mean I was just waiting for you-” Ana started skipping off the the restaurant, bundled up in a puffy orange coat. Elsa held back a giggle- she wore more casual clothes, though she regretted the choice. Torn-up dark jeans, a ragged indigo tee hidden beneath an oversized blue hoodie. What would the owner think of her?

 

“Hello and happy holidays!” The owner leaned against the glass wall of the restaurant, under the Tiana’s Palace sign. “I’m Tiana, I’m the owner here- I actually don’t live here, which is why the basement apartment is open.” She locked the doors and finished wiping off tables, flashing them a bright smile. “I know what you two have been through and about your situation, so don’t feel like you have to wear those in your apartment.” She nodded towards Elsa’s gloved hands. “Let’s get you settled in.” She looked in her twenties, young to be owning a restaurant- but if the defined strength of her arms was any hint, she worked hard for it.

 

The basement was concrete, boring; there were two bedrooms, a living room/ kitchen, and a bathroom. Everything was _plain_ \- wooden furniture, two old queen-sized beds. Tiana was chewing her lip nervously. Ana turned to Elsa, eyes wide and mouth open in a grin.

“What?” Elsa asked obliviously, setting down her bag. She slowly slid off her gloves, wincing at the twinge from her still-sore arms.

“Come on, Elsa!” Ana squealed, earning her a look of confusion. “Do the magic, do the magic!” Elsa’s face changed to one of surprise, and then of hope. Someone wanted her to use her powers? It was going to be allowed? Elsa slipped off her boots and then her socks, because they were so thick that she couldn't move in them well, and set them aside, toes bare on the hard concrete. Then, with mild hesitation, she lifted her foot and set it down. A pattern of frost rocketed across the floor, the sheet of ice spreading more slowly. Tiana and Ana both slipped, Ana’s feet whirling to catch herself and a hand flashing out. The thin restaurant owner had fallen on the ice, laughing and pushing her hair out of her face.

“You can’t skate.” Elsa stated directly, the realization dawning on her. How many hours had she spent inside her room, locked away in her tiny winter wonderland? She’d walked on ice for so long that she hardly felt the difference anymore, other than that tingling she felt in place of cold.  

“Do the walls!” Ana shrieked, and Elsa winced at the sound. The other two were dissolving in giggles; for a moment she felt displaced, out of sync- never able to be a part of their world, to interact with others like this. Watching friendships and relationships and laughter from the window of her lonely kingdom. _All I need is the ice and snow._ She moved her hands around each other, took a breath, and then uncovered them with a snap at a wall; the icy snowflake-patterns raced along the concrete walls and the ice spread. She skated through the main room, touching countertops, feet easily gliding barefoot along the surface and leaving icy sparks.

She tapped a bed and it burst into ice, her eyes tearing at the sight. She ripped off her sweatshirt and tossed it to the side, her arms raising above her head and coming down hard. _Look at what I can do_! She poured herself into the designs, the way the snowflakes offset the ice, the patterns she sent across the floor. Her hands whirled. The soft white skin, broken by tiny, thin overlapping red marks. The marks that were bound in gauze, her blood as cold as her eyes. The soft material of a dark indigo t-shirt crackled, the shoulders tingling with that familiarity of ice, so different from the pain she saw on other’s faces.

She fell back on her bed, made with sheets of ice over the cotton, watching the hanging light of the ceiling catching each ounce of brightness and magnifying it a thousand times over.

That was how Ana would find her half an hour later, curled up asleep on familiar touch of cold.

 

“Elllllsaaa?” Her sisters voice snapped her out of her activities. Panicking, Elsa dove across her bed, scattering the cloth and scissors and thread and shoving them quickly under the bed. “Elsaaa!” Ana knocked several times and then cracked open the door, sticking one freckled face through the crack. Her wide blue eyes were bright, layered with colorful makeup. Elsa narrowed her own matching eyes, wringing her hands nervously. “Oh! Hi. Oof!” The last note was a yelp as Ana crashed to the ground, slipping on the ice. Elsa flinched. _Come on, you’re going to have to teach her how to skate._ “Oops. Hi. Okay. I’m going out with my friends to do christmas shopping and I just wanted to let you know that yeah, I’ll be out of the house for a while! I mean, we only got here a few hours ago but I haven’t done any shopping yet and ooh, do you want me to get a tree?”

“Wait. Hold on.” Elsa stammered, playing with her braid to keep her anxious fingers busy. “A tree?”

“Yes! It’s Christmas- ooh, we could get one of those fake trees, or a big pine tree- how high d’ya think the ceiling is? You must keep the ornaments somewhere, did you unpack them yet? I can’t believe it’s in three days and I haven’t gotten you anything yet, I’m so so sorry and oops!” She put a hand to her mouth. “I wasn’t supposed to say that.”

“Tree?’ Elsa asked. “I’m confused. Why do we need a- let me worry about the tree.” She sighed, running a hand through her hair and freezing the bangs in place. It was hard, once again, to be with Ana alone. Before, Elsa had been left alone to sleep and heal, and Ana had been running off with her friends to school.

“Okay!’ Ana responded brightly, waving before going sliding across the floor, feet whirling as she tried to use sheer momentum to navigate the apartment. Elsa flinched- her sister was wearing a coat inside. I should fix that, but… hmm. She frowned slightly and moved her fingers, wondering why she’d ended up with a sister, of all things.

“Ana, wait-” She began, but lifted her head to realize that she was alone in the apartment. “Be safe.” The teen whispered. Right, I have maybe three to five hours before Ana’s home. _Come on, Elsa. Be responsible, for once._

She sipped the ramen and watched the ice, the way that it didn’t melt- even went she spilled hot water onto it. She puzzled over this- but decided not to dwell on it, staring at the living room. It was barren of furniture right now, which was just as well. In any case, she didn’t have enough money to buy furniture. She had enough to carry comfortably for a little while, at least, but not enough to be remodeling an apartment.

 _Right. How hard could this be?_ She lifted her hands slowly, two blocks of ice rising on the floor and sitting there, mocking her with their simplicity. Her hand moved and her tongue slid out between her lips, a habit she had when focusing on a task. It was like using a muscle one’s been neglecting, or seeing out of eyes when first waking up, the way she moved her hands and watched the table assert itself. She molded it with silent purpose, like a ball of clay at a potter’s wheel. A perfect circle started at the center, and a perfect snowflake started there, too- radiating out like crystal, a home, a palace, an apartment- all of them, perhaps, at once.

A tree. She bit down on her tongue and snapped out her hands, her palms wide. A jet of ice came down from the ceiling, widening, spiralling down in perfect exponential growth. It shimmered with frost and she stopped abruptly when she had finished, reaching for the cup of ramen she’d just placed aside and nibbling at it. So much she didn’t know about how any of this worked- oh, but she had more to do.

There was Ana’s present to worry about, after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh slghlkshfksjd I know Christmas was supposed to happen but I have so much planned that I had to separate it into two chapters! //cringe// The next update will be faster, I think, sorry about the delay--


	6. Into the Open Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas comes and brings a rather intrusive ice expert with it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about not updating I'm a terrible person alshglkshgkajjfsljg ;-;  
> Thank you all for your patience with me and I do hope the next update won't take as long n.n This chapter's mostly fluff, so I hope you enjoy it!

 

It was quiet in the little basement apartment, the silent flurry of activity having faded just a few hours earlier, when Elsa had finally finished stowing away neatly wrapped gifts under the tree. It wasn't much, but it was Christmas, at least- and beneath a sparkling icy tree, the gifts shone with dazzling reflected light, casting an air of that magic that took the hearts of children and the sleep of their corresponding adults. But still, it was quiet, and comfortable, and peaceful...

“Elsa!” Ana flung herself onto Elsa’s bed, bright-eyed and wide awake. She was dressed in a loose-fitting pair of grey sweatpants and a grey hoodie, hair already in braids. Elsa was snug in her blankets, dressed only in an oversized white t-shirt with a blue snowflake in it and without shorts and sweatshirt. She wasn’t particularly cold. “Pssst. Wake up wake up!”

“Ana.” Elsa mumbled. “Go to sleep.” She tried to curl tighter into a ball beneath the blanket, oceanic eyes slowly closing.

“Noooo!” Ana flopped onto her bag with a muttered exclamation from her sister, staring up at the ceiling. “It’s Christmas, Elsa, there’s _presents_.”

“It’s..” Elsa peered at her beat-up little cold-weather durable clock. “...Four flipping o’clock.” She narrowed her eyes. _I was up all night finishing up said presents._ She sighed and curled tighter. “Fine. Go take a shower or something. I’ll… be awake… soon.” She mumbled tiredly. When Ana bounded away, though, she cracked open an eye. _Showtime_.

 

She hadn’t really experienced being an older sister, not since they were young, and never like this. It was so achingly similar to that of a parent that it made her want to laugh and cry all at once- after all, she’d never really experienced it before herself. Parenting was a thing that ended the moment she almost killed her classmates, when the storms began to flow easily from her fingertips. Now, as cold water coursed over her slim form, waking her up in these early morning hours, she wondered smugly if Ana would be able to restrain herself from the carefully wrapped presents. It wasn’t a lot, but it was what she could afford, and she didn’t have a lot of extra money to be spending.

Elsa loosely braided her hair and let it hang over her shoulder, pulling on a pair of ripped black skinny jeans and a beaten-up red tank top. She’d used a sharpie to write across it the title of her book, back when she’d been able to easily write. “Ana?”

“I’m here I’m here I’m here-” Ana spun lightly, beaming as Elsa stepped out of the bathroom, hair still dripping. “Look at the tree, Elsa, look look look-”

“Ana. I’m looking.” Elsa cut her off, though she wasn’t really, absentmindedly wondering when, after she’d asked Ana to shower, Ana had decided to put on a new pair of pyjamas instead of regular clothing. Her sister was wearing bright green pyjama pants and a red t-shirt with an… alarming reindeer face on it.

“Omigoshcanweopenthem-” Ana chattered, flinging herself down onto the icy couch Elsa had made. The ice didn’t seem to be melting at all, despite the apartment being over freezing temperature. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.

“Shouldn’t we wait until the sun’s up?” Elsa asked, somewhat wearily. Ana could get up in an instant if the day was exciting, it seemed, but Elsa needed time to prepare herself for a day. “... We need to go shopping. We’re almost out of food.” She mumbled, peering into the cabinets until she found half a loaf of bread. It was stale. She opened the box that they used as a fridge, sighing and taking out a package of ham that didn’t seem like it had gone bad yet. She tossed it to Ana. “We’ll go out later today and find something.” She promised guiltily. She never knew what to buy- she’d never really gone to a grocery store with her parents. Maybe she ought to let Ana shop next time.

“Waiting is agony.” Ana groaned, mashing her face into a pillow. “C’mon, you can open the first one. Readysetcatch!” The last string of syllables didn’t process until a box hit Elsa directly in the face. “Oooh! I’m so sorry ohmigoshareyouokay-”

“Fine.” The white-haired teen replied, eye watering. That was going to leave a bruise. She held the shoebox-sized package in her hands, turning it over and peering at the wrapping paper and her name written as ‘ _Alse_ ’. “Who is this from?”

“Oh! I forgot to tell you. Flynn dropped them down while you were in the shower outside the door.” Ana said brightly. “You know, ‘cos they’re our friends and all.”

“Oh. I-” She hadn’t gotten them a gift. _Oh, no_. “...okay.” She took a breath, forcing herself to get under control, hands pulling gently at the paper.

“Oh my gooooooosh, Elsa, hurry up.” Ana burst out, squirming. “Open it!” Elsa shook her head, amused, and pulled the paper off with agonizingly slow tugs.

“Hmmm.” Elsa peered at the box, opening it to take out the plush within.

“What is itttt?” Ana almost spasmed on the couch, face lit up. “Do you like it? Is it a book? Can I see?”

“It’s a writing board.” Elsa responded curiously, holding it up. The plush was a cartoon-like snowman with white eyes and strange-shaped head. It was holding a whiteboard  with a magnetic marker, about as much space to write as half a piece of paper. On it was written ‘ _Hi, I’m Olaf, and I like warm hugs!_ ’ in the same loopy handwriting. “How about you got next?”

“Yes yes yes- which one will I pick, though, there’s this one, and this one-” Ana chattered. Elsa winced, silently hoping that nothing was fragile- well, at least anything that could break was already broken by now. “This one! It’s from you, right?”

“Yeah.” She muttered, hands reaching up to nervously tug on her braid. She set the snowman on the countertop, wondering at the strangeness of it and not particularly paying attention.

“Oh, Elsa…” Ana was holding up her gift. Elsa snapped back to attention, wincing. She could still see the flaws in the fabric- she’d taken a basic t-shirt and a sheet of cloth and made a high-waisted wrap skirt and a loose crop-top shirt with exposed shoulders. It wasn’t something that she’d ever wear- not with the shocking shades of yellow and pink- but it was something that Ana seemed to appreciate. “It’s so cool! Where did you find this?” Elsa flinched- she could almost hear what went unspoken: she hadn’t been out long enough to be clothes shopping.

“I um, I made it.” She admitted shyly. “It’s holiday break, though, you can’t wear it now. Sorry, I haven’t learned how to alter winter clothing.”

“No, it’s perfect! Don’t apologize!” Ana said quickly, waving her hands and consequently dropping the outfit.

 

-

 

Elsa dialed the cell phone quite nervously. She didn’t use it very often and was always afraid of breaking it- phones were expensive to replace. Holding the card with the number in one hand and the phone in the other, she listened absentmindedly to the sound of Ana loudly singing carols to the general room and the soft hum of the phone. And then, a voice.

“Hello, you’ve reached the DunBroch family-” The voice crackled, but then stopped short. “Oh! My apologies, Elsa, I didn’t recognize your name at first on the caller ID. Would you like me to put Merida on the phone?”

“Actually, I wanted to speak to you.” She responded. “You’re a writer, correct?” She balanced the phone on her shoulder, carefully folding the clothes that Ana had thrown on the floor. “I’m stuck.”

“That is an issue-” Elinor put her hand on the receiver at the same time as Elsa did to ask their respective charges to quiet down, making Elsa feel ridiculously old and maternal. Ouch. “If you’re upset or anxious, you won’t be able to relax enough to write. You could try cleaning, or cooking, or organizing, that usually does the trick.” An uncomfortable pause. “Oh, but you’ve got a lot on your mind, don’t you? Have you called that boy Jack yet? He knows more than I do.” Elsa scrambled in her mind for a response to the accented voice, an explanation.

“No, I haven’t. I don’t know him, I doubt he’ll be able to-”

“Oh, don’t worry, dear, I’ve sent him an email right now and he can come on down. He doesn’t have a family to spend Christmas with, anyways, the company will do you good. I’ll let Tiana know that he’ll be coming down.”

“I-” But the woman had already hung up- problem delegated in that clear, organized way that Merida’s mother seemed to have. It was a far cry from Elsa’s mother, a sweet but sensitive person who didn’t often take charge in such a manner. Elsa set down the food and took a breath. “Ana, someone’s coming over, okay? Can you clean up that wrapping paper, please?”

 

-

 

“No, it’s alright, I know what I’m in for.” The boy in front of her assured her. He wore a frost-patterned blue hoodie and loose pale jeans, barefoot and holding a tall, curved cane. A strange sight to see. “Oi, let me in.” he nudged her aside with his curved cane, not using it to walk on the ice. So it was some kind of staff? “You’ve done okay with this place. I like it.” He touched the walls, which were covered in snowflake patterns- and then the patterns became fractals, the whole wall transforming. “Not bad, for an amateur. You use your hands, right?”

“Yeah. I mean, usually. When I mean to.” Elsa stammered. “Sometimes it happens and I don’t know why.” She watched the wall, which was slowly melting. “Yours melts?”

“Sometimes.” He responded. “I can make it melt. I’m Jack Frost, by the way.” She rushed to introduce herself but he shrugged. “And you’re Elsa.” He swung himself into the ice couch in front of the huge tree, amidst wrapping paper looking out of place in an icy world. “I have a few theories. One- the furniture doesn’t melt because you’re purposefully creating it. Really, you could build a whole castle with this. You’ve got no sense of fun.” He glanced around, fiddling with the grey wood of the staff. “Where are your parents?”

“That’s a personal question.” Elsa snapped. “They died a little while ago. Why are you asking?”

“Your sister, Ana, how many years younger than you?”

“Three…”

“Let me finish before you interrupt. Were you born like this, or cursed?”

“B-Born, you can’t be cursed with-”

“So you’re alive. Fully, I mean. Did you kill your parents or were you already moved out? I know you never finished school, but I don’t have a timeline to work with.”

“How is this helping? You’re making it worse.” Elsa objected, frustrated. “I have things to do. If you’re not going to be helpful-”

“Have you ever killed someone or experienced extreme guilt that has to do with-”

“Get out.” She growled, hands raising. He didn’t flinch.

“I’m not leaving without answers.”

“Yes you are!” She pulled from the ground, the white bear of snow moving in swift strides towards Jack. He hesitated, as if willing to fight- then glanced towards Ana’s room and turned, stalking out as if it had been his decision the entire time. Elsa left the snow-bear crouching at the door and closed it, eyes narrowed. “Don’t come back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies that it was a bit short! I hope you enjoyed it, though. By the way, feel free to leave criticism n.n;  
> -By the way, my tumblr url changed. I'm now at manga-and-cookies, if you were wondering where I'd gone!


	7. Lean on Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two sisters discover another few obstacles in the road, and struggle to understand each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm sorry this took so long! Really, I need to update more. This chapter is shorter than the last one, I hope you still enjoy it! Once again, a reminder that I don't have a beta reader, so please notify me of mistakes!

 

 

“When are you getting picked up, then?” Elsa asked for the umpteenth time, hands fidgeting with each other again. “You’ll bring a phone, and-”

“Hans is going to wait in the driveway.” Ana replied, exasperated. “Don’t worry so much, Elsa.” She reached up to fix her hair, which hung in a long braid tied off neatly. “I’ll be back soon. It’s just a date, honest.”

“Just.” Elsa muttered darkly, pulling on her white gloves. She was dressed back in her own comfortable style, currently a red t-shirt with some sort of feminist statement as a faded darker graphic, her palms smoothing over rough dark jeans. “Don’t show him the apartment and don’t say anything about it.”

“I’m going to be late.” Ana groaned. “Some first impression it’ll be if I show up late.” She pulled on her shoes, slipping on the icy flooring of the sitting room where the tree still sat because Elsa wasn’t sure how to dismantle it- like the furniture, it didn’t melt. She looked up from her hands to see Ana leaving, biting her lip and following her up the stairs.

 

She caught a glimpse of Hans halfway through Tiana’s neatly swept restaurant, narrowing her eyes. He had a carefully combed red hair and, for a sixteen year old, he seemed meticulously dressed and shaven, sideburns carefully cared for. Her nose wrinkled at the way he grasped Ana’s waist and hand posessively when she tripped, a peal of laughter floating back towards where she watched Ana step into his shiny car.

A spark lit inside her, one that she harbored carefully. It was a gut instinct- and if she had anything, she had instincts. Flight-or-fight said to run from this odd boy with the striking clothes, probably a football player and an honor student.

Distrust.

 

-

 

Elsa sat in the waiting area of the restaurant, watching the people by. She glanced down at her phone, staring at the screen and tapping out another message.

 

[ where are you]

[ please come home,  it’s late]

[ ana, it’s dark out already]

< elsa im fine chill its fine omg >

[ if you’re not back in an hour i’m calling the cops]

< meet u in the apartment 4 dinner ok >

[ i went shopping while you were out, we have plenty of food]

< k, thx. c u l8r >

 

She sighed and turned off the display, grasping the device tightly in a gloved hand as she got up, stretching out stiff legs and heading to the back room, where the stairs to the basement apartment were. Ana was… difficult. She trotted down the steps and kicked off her shoes while dialing a familiar number, balancing the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she put away her shoes and reached for plates. “Oh, hi, Harris, is your mother home?” She asked politely, waiting with a tapping foot as she heard loud banging and scrambling before Elinor’s weary greeting sounded. “Apologies, Mrs.DunBroch, but I had a few questions, if you have the time?”

“I can always make time to help out you and your sister, Elsa.” The mother’s crackling voice relieved her and she relaxed, peering at the package set on the counter as she slid off her gloves and set them aside. “What’s wrong- Hubert, if you don’t stop- Fergus, dear, teach these boys how to behave.” Elsa waited patiently, drumming her fingers on the table with a slight, amused smile that felt good on her face.

“Well, I found some rice at the store, but… it doesn’t say how to cook it.” She flushed. “And Ana’s out with a boy- a football player with a fancy car, you know the type. I just don’t know how to break it to her. And I can’t seem to write a single thing, but I’ve got bills to pay and that’s my main income, see-”

“Slow down. You can’t fix the entire world- I know, I’ve tried. And I ended up in a spectacular row with my own daughter. You can’t try and control everything. Now, that rice.” Her voice turned practical and Elsa snapped to attention, biting her lip. “You’ve probably cooked ramen before, goodness me, I know you’re that type of writer. Grab the pot you use to bring water to a boil, that’s what you cook it in..” She continued with instructions and Elsa grabbed the closest thing on hand- Olaf, with his little whiteboard, and she began to scrawl down instructions.

 

\--

 

Ana burst in  forty-five minutes later,  hair  in a tangled version of her braid. “Elsa you don’t even know, I had the most amazing-”

“Your dinner’s gone cold.” Elsa replied tiredly. “I cooked something tonight.” She gestured loosely to the fridge and the microwave. “You can heat it up.”

“Come on, don’t be like that.” Ana groaned. “You must’ve had a boyfriend when you were in school.” She took off her shoes and flung them aside, laying a hand over her forehead dramatically. “You understand.”

“No, I don’t.” Elsa sighed, shaking her head. She turned back to the fridge and resigned herself to sliding the rice out of the fridge along with the chef’s salad she’d worked on, sticking the rice into the microwave.

“And Hans is so sweet, and perfect, and omigosh _such_ a gentleman.” Ana continued, seeming unaffected by her older sister’s continued frustration. “Did you know he’s a junior? And he goes to our school! I’ll see him as soon as winter break is over. And he can drive me into school, he says, and-”

“Wait. No.” The white-haired sibling straightened, blue eyes widening. “No, you’re not going to get driven by a stranger through the city. If you don’t want me to drive, then get driven by Rapunzel or Kristof.”

“Why do you always have to be so controlling? You have a polar bear made of ice in front of our door, that isn’t enough?” Ana shot back angrily. “I’m fifteen. I should be allowed to do what I want.”

“I’m trying to protect you!” Elsa yelled, turning on her. “Do you not understand this? You loud do I have to be before you understand that I’m your damned _sister_ and I’m not your enemy?”

“Don’t swear at me!” The redhead protested, throwing her hands up in front of her face. Elsa backed away, her hands lowered when she realized the icy wind blowing through the apartment. She grabbed for her gloves, slipping them over her hands- _conceal don’t feel conceal don’t feel conceal don’t feel_. “-Seriously, I can’t believe you. Everyone has boyfriends in high school. I can’t believe you’re not used to it- just relax, okay?”

“Yeah, well, I don’t.” Elsa muttered. “Sorry, kid, I’m a _lesbian_. You aren’t _getting_ it, are you?” She waved loosely at the microwave and counter. “Your food’s there. Eat something eventually, I don’t even care.” She shook her head and withdrew to her room.

 

The company of her laptop was appreciated, and she opened up social media- a Facebook account she hadn’t used in a while, a Tumblr, and an account on a young-writer’s site that provided her with editing. If she couldn’t write well due to writer’s block, then at least she could plan out her plotlines, reviewing the storyboard and tweaking future character ideas. And then, a ping on her facebook tab- it didn’t usually do that.

 

| knew u wer a freak |

| wow so the dropouts a lesbo too |

| dyke |

| no wonder ur sis is messed up |

 

The messages went on and on, all of them spewing hate in a steady trickle. Her eyes widened. Yes, there had been rumours when she’d gone to school- but- but nothing like this, the words blurring on the screen. She dropped her laptop like it was on fire and it clattered to the floor, sitting there upside-down. She backed away from it. “Ana?”

“What- what happened?” Her sister skidded to a halt, staring at the computer and then at Elsa’s face. “What did you do?”

“What did you do?” Elsa replied desperately. “My entire page is filled with homophobic shit! Who did you tell? What did you do?”

“I- Nobody! I mean, I asked Hans what it meant, because you didn’t even explain what lesbian is, but he hasn’t responded yet, and Hans would never-”

“Would he, though?” Elsa responded furiously. “Because he apparently did, and I’m the one who has to pay for it! Do you even realize what you’ve done?”

“No!” Ana threw up her hands, face flushed hot with frustration. “I don’t even know what it means or why you’re so angry about it!”

“Lesbian, Ana.” Elsa shook her head. “It means that I don’t like boys in the same way that you do. I like girls, instead.” She curled her hands into fists. How could her sister end up so innocent to her own world? So ignorant?

“Why do they care, then? This shouldn’t even be that big of a deal! You’re blowing up over nothing!” Ana grabbed the computer before she could be stopped, scrolling down through the messages. “Why are people so upset?”

“I don’t know, Ana.” She looked down at the ground, eyes blurring further, struggling to maintain control. But she didn’t have control to maintain, the walls crackling with frost patterns. “I don’t know why they get so upset.”

“Are you- are you crying?” Ana wasn’t sure of what to do, fidgeting awkwardly before sitting down on the bed, pulling Elsa down next to her and leaning sideways into her. She wrapped both arms around Elsa’s waist and just stayed there for a moment, not knowing what to do or where to go. There was a sudden low snarl from Marshmallow, the bear Ana had been talking about earlier. “Oh, I’ll go- get the door, then-” Ana turned and fled the the room, arms pulling away and feet hurrying across the ice.

 

“We all heard, of course. Word spreads fast on the internet.” Rapunzel explained, fidgeting. “But anyways, if you’ll come to the winter party- it’d be really, really cool. Okay?”

“O-Of course.” Ana responded breathlessly, blushing. “Yeah, um, we’ll- we’ll let you know when we’ve got a plan.” She offered a tight smile, resisting the urge to shut the door. “We’re just in the middle of something, so,-”

“Yes, of course.” Rapunzel replied quickly. “Do what you have to do. Just think about it, okay? I’d love to see you there.”

“We’ll think about it.” Ana promised, easing the door shut. As soon as it was closed she hurried back to the room, grasping the doorway for balance on the ice. “Elsa?”

“Yeah, I’m here.” Elsa said softly, turning over an object in her hands.

“What’s that?” Ana moved to her side, peering down at her sister’s hands. Elsa unfurled them slowly, opening something to the air. It was made of ice and reflected the light off of every pixel-sized panel. She gasped quietly. “It’s a flower? Jack sent it, didn’t he? It’s a zinnia flower. We used to grow them.” She touched it, drawing her finger back at the shocking cold. “He doesn’t know flower meanings, though. It was probably from all of them.”

“What does it mean?” She asked, but Ana was already getting up and going away, distracted, finding something else to do- and Elsa pulled out her laptop.

 

And looked up flower meanings.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -
> 
> zinnia: thoughts of an absent friend


	8. Warm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsa's inner artist shines through...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggers: Nightmare, SI
> 
> Note: My sincerest apologies, darlings, life's been very chaotic and difficult-!

Chapter Eight: Warm

  
  


“Mom!” Ana’s scream echoed through the apartment and Elsa woke up faster than she ever had before, taking a moment to process. “Mom!” There it was, again, that scream- it reverberated through the walls like a beating pulse. A wild panic seized Elsa’s limbs and she tore through the apartment, skidding to a halt in the doorway. Ana was- having a nightmare, her body twisting and turning and that scream haunting Elsa’s ears.

It terrified her more than anything. “Ana! Ana, please, you’re okay. You’re okay. We’re okay.” She fell to the bed, grabbing her little sister and pulling her close. The redhead was drenched in sweat and when she woke there were tears mingling with it, salty terror. “Shhh. Shhh, it’s okay. It was a dream.” She kissed the top of the girl’s hair, stroking her hair and not sure of what else to do. This was- this was what their mother had done, when one of them had fallen and scraped a knee, or had a nightmare.

“She dead! No, no, I have to- I have to find her, let me go-” Ana struggled and Elsa held on, eyes wide. She pulled the girl even closer, lifting one palm.

“A-Ana, you want to see something cool?” She whispered, grasping this one chance she had to finally, finally be a sister, to do something right in Ana’s life. “Shhh, watch, okay?” She swirled her hand, her fingers molding the claw of what would be, taking the vapor of the air and turning it into something more beautiful. A team of rabbits, three little creatures that bounded in circles and snuffled softly. “Do you want to hold one?” She asked softly, nervously. Ana nodded and she lifted the girl out of her lap, setting her on the bed and turning over her palms. “Okay.”

The snow rabbit was cold to the touch but Elsa made it as soft as possible, eyes nervously watching for the signs of panic in her sister- but no, they were fading, replaced by a child’s curious imagination.

“Are you okay, Ana?” Elsa asked softly. Another nod, and a sniffle. “You’re a mess, kiddo.” At this a laugh from both of them- at four in the morning, playing with little snow rabbits on a tangled-up bed. “Are you going to be able to go back to sleep?”

“I don’t think so- Elsa-” Ana had gotten distracted. Elsa was wearing what she slept in- a loose t-shirt and underwear, casual, but Ana’s finger traced a mark on her thigh, a half-healed scar. “Did you do this to yourself?”

“Ana.” Her voice was sharp for a moment, and then softened, letting out a sigh between her teeth and closing her eyes briefly for a moment. “Get yourself showered. We’re doing morning _my_   way this morning.”

 

\--

 

‘Footloose’ played over the radio loudly, the notes almost shaking the basement apartment. Elsa jumped into the shower as soon as Ana was out and toweled off, running conditioner through split ends in a desperate attempt to avoid a haircut for the longest time possible. She couldn’t help a light smile as the hot water cascading over her pale skin- tonight was Rapunzel’s party.

Elsa had never been much of a party girl, but she hadn’t seen Merida in a long time- wait, what? Since when am I that close to Merida? Where did that even come from? She shook her head to clear the thought and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel around her frame. _Today- and tonight- is about Ana_. She sighed and slid out of the bathroom, tip-toeing to her bedroom. This day had to be perfect.

“You still haven’t told me where we’re going!” Ana called from the kitchen. “Should I wear a coat? Or boots? Or should I dress formally? Are we going to go downtown or are we-”

“Patience.” Elsa responded, pulling her hair into a tighter braid and staring at her wardrobe with mild annoyance. They’d need to do laundry again soon. She found a dark violet t-shirt and pulled it over her head, grabbing at a pair of striped violet-and-black jeans. It looked strange, but then- so did she. Screw it. I’m going out like this. She slid into the hallways.

“Can I turn the music down?” Ana called over the pulsing beat of ‘Highway to the Danger Zone’. Elsa gave her a mystified look. _Is she really related to me?_ She couldn’t help but wonder, not for the first time, if Ana had ever been out into the real world, where there was more than economically stable pop singers on the radio. Elsa shook her head and reached for the radio, sliding the volume up a bit. Ana covered her ears, but she was laughing- that was good.

Elsa waited for the bread Ana had put in the toaster to pop up, grabbing it before her sister could. She reached for the butter and a knife, patiently smoothing it onto the bread. And then- peanut butter.

“Wait, peanut butter and butter? Nonono, that’s going to taste awful-” Ana groaned. Elsa tightened her lips. “Can I make another piece? Are you even listening?” The music was loud enough to make Ana close to a yell.

“Will you just-” Elsa whirled on her, and the sudden chill in the room made the world still. “Give me a chance!” She grit her teeth. “I know I’m not your mother, but you could at least try to respect my choices!”  She shook her head and narrowed her eyes, turning back to spreading peanut butter patiently across the bread. She handed the toast to Ana and leaned against the counter, arms folded across her chest and one hand holding the other piece. Ana took a bite experimentally, and then her eyes went wide. Elsa snorted and began to eat her own, not even bothering to ask the guilty-looking redhead whether or not she liked it.

“It’s like- caramel-tasting.” Ana gushed, a rapid change in heart. “But it’s so weird.” She ate it carefully, raising her eyebrows at the older figure. “So, where are we going?”

“Get in the car and you’ll see.” Elsa responded, trying to hide how nervous she actually was. What if Ana didn’t like it, or never wanted to spend a day with Elsa again? Or if they had another fight? No, she has to like it.

 

\--

 

“Alright.” Elsa murmured, and turned towards the car. She motioned for Ana. Elsa usually just walked across the lake, but because of her sister, she’d thrown out a long walkway on the surface of the water.

 

The woods sparkled with new fallen snow. The entire pond area shone with it, snowflakes whispering through the air in a dazzling, dizzying descent, Elsa’s gloves off and her hands pale but not cracked with the cold as Ana’s were. Pine needles came to a frosted tip, the ice shaking with each step. Ana stopped on the walkway, glancing nervously down at the water. “Elsa… I’m not sure about this.”

“I won’t let you fall.” Elsa promised, looking back. “Come on.” She bounced along the cool ice, each foot strengthening the surface beneath her . She turned a bend, suddenly, and Ana stumbled to a stop, calling out with alarm. “I took a left!” Elsa responded, coming to a stop at her destination and turning.

Ana turned the corner and stopped, a hand reaching to her mouth. “...Elsa.”

“It’s not a lot, just something I’ve been working on, in my free time.” She fidgeted, glancing up at the structure. “I use to have to drive a lot longer to come here, but we’re closer now.”

“Elsa.” Ana only breathed, staring up. And up. It was a kind of tower, built off of tiny, glittering fractals of ice and snow. It spiralled out of the ground, a spear reaching up to the sky and lined with stairs too small for human feet, windows smaller than any head. A castle that could never be tiny but would never welcome the warmth of children’s feet- delicate and quiet, serving a purpose that was entirely shrouded from her. There was so much of Elsa in there that it made her eyes wide, but something more. “Didn’t… didn’t Mom used to build dollhouses like this?” Catherine had been fond of making them, giving the little girls something to play with, though Elsa had always broken them or refused to touch them.

“She never taught me how to make them with wood.” Elsa responded quietly. “The structure’s not sound enough to be used very often, but it triumphs in size.” And it did- stretching higher than their heads, it had to have hundreds of tiny rooms, the intricate walls careful and lightly patterned. The mastery of ice that was involved- when she just flung snowflakes it didn’t seem as if she could be so precise, so elegant- but she could.

She had always had her mother inside her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a short one, but the next one will be longer! My apologies for the consistently late updates!


	9. New

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsa finds unexpected obstacles in her heart when she arrives at Rapunzel's party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a little bit of f/f, as a warning~! I hope you enjoy the writing!<3

“Elsa…” Ana complained, throwing herself onto Elsa’s bed with a groan. Elsa barely heard her over the roaring of the shower. The water droplets cascaded down her shoulders for a moment before she reached to turn it off, standing dripping for a minute. Behind the closed door, her sister was still complaining about nothing in particular.

“Could you wait a second!?” Elsa shot back in response. “Let me get dressed.” She reached for a comb- _no, wait._ There were better ideas than this.

 

Her fingers crackled with frost, deftly running through her hair. Instantly, the ivory strands cooled and calmed, running down her back. “I’ll be out in a minute!” She called, staring at herself in the mirror. Collarbones and pale skin, scars and tears and blood and bright, bright blue eyes. That.. was what she had to work with. This was her canvas; now, what would she paint in time for the party?

Her hands moved of its own accord and she let the outfit fall over her, fresh and smelling of midnight frosts. The shimmering blue shirt, as delicate as the hands that guided it, fell over gentle purple leggings. Loose- but in softer colors than her usual black and red. _I don’t think I can do this. A party, Elsa? What were you thinking?_ She glanced at her wrists quite suddenly- _oh, no_. This delicate, spaghetti-strap top wasn’t going to cut it.

“Elsa?” Her sister’s voice cut the silence. Panic seized Elsa’s heart and she barely had time to create the shimmering bracelets before her sister’s incessant knocking began on the door. “How long does it take?”

“Stop that racket!” She snapped, opening the door abruptly. Her sister’s eyes widened, freckled face in shock. “What did I do? I mean, I know I look like hell, but you don’t need to-”

“No, you look- just different, that’s all.” Ana responded. “I’m not used to seeing you all dressed up.”

“The same goes for you.” Elsa responded carefully. “I like green on you, it compliments your hair.” She tilted her head at Ana’s nervous expression. “We aren’t going to be late, Ana. We’ll be fine.”

“I like parties.” Her sister responded. “And we’ll miss it if you don’t hurry up, okay? I haven’t seen Ray in forever.”

 

-

 

Music pounded against her ears with a heavy, strange beat. _This is so weird… So is this what a party is like?_ She fiddled with the bracelets on her wrist nervously. The shimmering ice felt like a thin layer in comparison with the heavy hoodies she usually wore- it made her feel naked and exposed.

“Elsa.” The voice made her jump and she turned around, eyes widening and gloves hands nervously entangling themselves “Please don’t set an attack dog on me.” Jack’s hooked staff gave him away- despite the fact that he’d changed into a loose black button-up and dark green skinny jeans, giving him a more… youthful look than he usually had. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I don’t go to parties a lot.” She responded coolly. “I see you’ve managed to fit in, for once.” One hand reached up to tug at her braid, conversational skills not being her strongest suit. “How do you hear over this music?”

“You get used to it. Ray usually plays music that doesn’t make you want to bash your head against a wall, but tonight she chose otherwise.” Jack caught Elsa’s wandering eyes. “What? Are you looking for someone?”

“You’re the most obnoxiously nosy person I have ever encountered.” Elsa snapped. “Go… enjoy the party.” She turned a pale-skinned shoulder to him and stalked off through the hallways, squinting.

 

Rapunzel’s house wasn’t a mansion, but it was the size of an estate, with wide rooms and intricate furniture. Everywhere, there seemed to be teenagers- but unlike other parties, there wasn’t the stench of alcohol burning her nose. She was all too familiar with that smell. _Ana will be fine._ And there- among the crowded hallway, a faint image of red hair vanishing into a closed room.

Elsa wound her way along the tightly cramped bodies, nose wrinkling. Even under normal circumstances in the city, she didn’t like being close to others- too much could go wrong, and everyone seemed in such a rush. _What’s their problem, anyways?_ Elsa brushed past an angry-looking boy with a muttered apology before grasping the door, throwing herself to the other side and closing it quickly against the people.

“Did you follow me in here, creep-” Merida spun around. “Oh, it’s you, Elsa. Sorry, There’s some idiots here, that’s all.”

“I won’t take it personally.” Elsa responded, glancing behind her. No- the real focus should be in front of her. A small but tidy room, a duffel bag sat on top of the twin bed unzipped and filled with haphazardly folded clothes. “Is this Rapunzel’s room?”

“No, this is actually the guest room- I’m staying overnight.” Merida laughed nervously. Unlike Elsa, she was dressed in brighter colors- a red tank top with white lettering that was too faded to read tucked into an orange skirt that maybe Elsa glanced at for a little too long. “Your shirt is gorgeous and you’re not even wearing a hoodie! Don’t blush, Elsa, you actually look really attractive when you’re not hiding.”

“Um.” Elsa wasn’t sure how to respond to this. What was she supposed to say? Was she supposed to give a compliment in return? She couldn’t move, bright blue eyes still wide with surprise. “...Thank...you?” She offered meekly.

“Don’t be nervous, okay? This is a party. You’re supposed to be having fun.” Merida responded. “Whatever you did before, it’s over, and you’ve gotta just have fun with it. Here, what do you like doing?”

Elsa had a minor mental breakdown. What did she like doing? What did she do, before she had spent all of her waking moments writing or caring for Ana? What did she have fun doing? _I like kissing, but that's all I remember from high school that I liked and I don't-_

“Is that permission for me to kiss you?” Merida asked, and Elsa’s heart fell through the floor as she stared at the wild-haired girl in front of her. Had she said that out loud? She had said that out loud.

“I don’t know.” Elsa replied breathlessly, mind scrambled. The room was becoming rapidly colder, even as Elsa’s cheeks were becoming rapidly hotter. “I don’t really understand- are you-”

“I’m going to kiss you.” Merida told her slowly, and then moved forward a step. “And you’re going to stop overthinking it.”

 

Merida’ lips tasted faintly of strawberries, and the sensation tingled like electricity. The heat of the girl’s hand cupping the back of Elsa’s head was a fire that warred against the icy chill of the blonde’s skin, Elsa taking a minute to let herself accept this before the tension in her shoulders relaxed slightly.

Merida was pulling away, uncertainly, and Elsa felt a sudden chill in the absence of the girl’s incredible warmth. Without thinking, without talking, without breathing, Elsa leaned forward to press her lips firmly against the other’s finally bringing her hands up. The sensation was like coming inside after frostbite- a biting, burning heat that was desperately needed, a thawing that the body craved inexplicably, despite the confusion of the nerves.

Her hands found Merida’s waist, deftly teasing at the edge of the skirt. Merida’ tactful response was to nibble at the bottom of Elsa’s lip, producing a tingle of sensations that sent a shiver up her spine, just enough for her focus to lessen and Merida to tease apart her jaws, tongue touching lightly against Elsa’s teeth with a characteristic playfulness that almost caught Elsa off guard. This was wrong, but it was so _deliciously_ wrong that she wanted to make it her own kind of right.

A knock at the door shocked Elsa into rationality again, pulling away from Merida with a gasp and stumbling backwards. This girl was sixteen- Merida was Ana’s age. There was no way that this could- Elsa stumbled back, ice creeping along her shoulders and solidifying her clothing more. She opened the door all too quickly, and Rapunzel almost fell in.

“There you are, Elsa, I was looking for you. Are you enjoying the-”

“I have to go.” She mumbled, brushing past Rapunzel. She clutched at the bracelets on her wrist, bumping and weaving among the people and desperately trying to keep herself together as she left the building, feet clattering down the steps and the driveway. _That was a bad idea from the start. I’ve just destroyed everything, haven’t I?_


	10. Screams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: panic attacks

“I don’t see why we had to leave so early.” Ana complained, fidgeting next to her. Elsa didn’t glance to the side, focusing her eyes ahead. Anna looked over, she could hear the rustle; Elsa subconsciously reached for her gloves, pulling them on- they slid comfortably over her hands and over the marks on her wrists, delicate fingers clasping the driver’s wheel with white-knuckled tightness.

The drive fell into silence, Elsa’s bright blue eyes glazed over with worry. _Merida’s Ana’s age. And what if the others find out? Ana’s never going to be able to look at me again, I’m never going to be able to take care of her, Merida’s mother will stop helping us- I’ve screwed up Ana’s future with her friends-_

“Elsa!” Ana shrieked suddenly. Elsa’s head snapped up and her eyes slid open, hands a whir at the wheel as she swerved sharply to the right, wheels turning over wintry roads as she avoided the oncoming truck, which sped past just where they had been seconds before. The car tumbled off the pavement, making the floor jolt. Elsa’s foot slammed onto the brake, pressing the pedal to the floor. The car had been going thirty and stopped short, Elsa’s forehead slamming into the steering wheel just as the tree-branches broke through the windshield, glass shattering.

 

“Ana!” She gasped, blinking rapidly. Blood trickled from a cut above her eyebrow, her thin form scrambling for her sister, releasing the seat belt. Her chest was tightening, out of control, and she couldn’t breathe. She could hear her heart pounding, _thumpthumpthumpthumpthump_ \- and a band was closing around her throat. “Ana, please, Ana-”

“I’m okay, Elsa, I’m okay- worry about yourself!” Ana squeaked. “You’re not breathing right, oh my god-” Elsa had doubled over, one hand clutching at her chest, unable to catch her breath. The world was closing in on her, choking her out, terror reaching into the darkest places of her heart. She couldn’t breath, gasping, desperately twisting the icy fabric of her shirt. She tore off her gloves, unable to breathe, as if she could fight with ice- it was trying to kill her, _everything was trying to kill her-_

Ice flowed over her body like rain, covering her skin, freezing the car. Ana sat among glass and tree-branches, eyes wide, skin pale. It was so cold, the car’s heater not working, snow on the ground. Ana’s breath came out in white clouds. She reached for Elsa’s phone, intending to call 911- and then froze, watching her sister hyperventilate, watching the ice- and dialed a different number.

 

“Hello, this is the DunBroch house, how can I-”

“I need help.” Ana cut the voice off, hysterical, eyes wide and voice panicky. “We crashed and Elsa’s breathing too fast and she keeps grabbing at her chest and I think she’s having a heart attack-”

“Slow down.” There was movement on the other side of the phone, voices and doors slamming. She heard the tap-tap-tap of feet moving quickly on the floor. “Where are you?”

“We- we left Rapunzel’s house- and- I don’t know there’s a lot of forest, Elsa’s bleeding- and- Oh my god, I’m bleeding, it was the glass, I’m bleeding- she’s shaking, just please-”

“I’m on my way.” Merida’s mother’s voice was calm and purposeful, Ana’s hysterical and scared, terrified. “Ana, try and get your sister out of the car.” The instruction seemed so simple- but it wasn’t, Elsa’s frame twisting and clawing and then terrifyingly still in her hands and feet, unable to resist Ana’s insistent arm pulling her out and onto the pavement, littered with debris.

“What do I do?” Ana whispered into the phone, terrified. She was shivering, shaking, cold, and Elsa’s breath was the most frightening thing she’d ever heard, a gasping, animalistic desperation. Ice froze the trees around them, Ana’s eyes forward.

“Put two fingers on the edge of her wrist. You’re going to keep track of her pulse.”

“I can’t.” Ana breathed. “She put this- this cloudy ice over them so that I wouldn’t see the- the-” She couldn’t say it, voice a whimper.

“Put your fingers on the inside of her elbow or behind her ear.” The dark-haired woman continued soothingly, and Ana could hear the static of the roads in the background. “Tell her that help is on the way. And stay on the phone.”

 

Ana’s fingers found the quickening pulse on Elsa’s neck, somehow knowing that it shouldn’t be this fast but unable to help. “You’re okay, Elsa, I got you.” She told her older sister, shivering violently in the winter cold. She looked up, and prayed for headlights.

  
  


Merida’s mother pulled over and put her hazard lights on, running across the icy road. She pulled off her jacket and threw it around Ana’s shoulders, sliding boots over Ana’s feet and her hat over the girl’s head. “You need to stay warm, Ana. Get in the car.” The red-haired teen was going into shock, skin a pale greyish colour and skin damp to the touch. Ana nodded numbly and stumbled towards the car, sliding into the passenger seat and trying to calm her shaking nerves. Help was here. Elsa would be fine. Elsa _had_ to be fine.

 

“Elsa, listen to me. You’re not having a heart attack, you’re having a panic attack. You need to slow down your breathing.” Elsa’s vision was slipping and sliding, a tightening pressure on her throat and chest. “Ana is okay, you’re okay.” She kept talking, a slow kind of speech.

Elsa’s frame had already begun to relax, but even as she began to breathe slower, get her head unscrambled, she was shaking, eyes wide. “I can’t feel my hands, I can’t feel my hands-”

“You might not have gotten enough oxygen to them. Just take a deep breath for me. There.” The voice was pulling Elsa back. “You’re cut up pretty badly, I’m going to take you to the house. I can’t risk taking you to the hospital.” Elsa didn’t responded, struggling to maintain her breathing as her gloves were pulled onto her tingling hands.

 

-

 

“This really isn’t necessary, I’m fine.” Elsa insisted, as an adhesive bandage was smoothed over her forehead. “Is it alright if Ana stays here overnight? She got scraped up pretty hard, and-”

“I’m okay!” Ana countered. “I’m just fine.”

“No, you’re not fucking okay! You haven’t been _okay_ since you came to live with me!” Elsa snapped, voice raising. The language made Ana flinch, Elsa’s gaze narrowing. “I almost killed you tonight.”

“You’re both staying here tonight.” The woman was still calm, a measured, controlled calm. “I’ve already told Merida and the boys.”

“Merida-” Elsa shook her head. “I can’t stay.”

“Did something happen between you two?” Ana asked, mystified. “Ray said she found you-”

“Nothing happened.” Elsa growled, looking away. Merida’s mother cast her a worried glance.

“Regardless of what happens, I don’t want you two alone in that apartment.” She responded. “Elsa, you need help. You can’t do this alone, and I need to call someone. Do you have any living relatives?”

“No.” She responded. “It’s just the two of us.” She swallowed, not looking at Ana- she couldn’t.

“Well. You two can stay here tonight. Ana, you will go to class with Merida tomorrow morning.” 


End file.
